This is me knowing that our paths will never cross again, and I am trying to forget the lyrics of our songs that we used to play on repeat. This is me letting you go minute by minute, and with every hours that feels like ages, this is me admitting that I loved you so much but now it doesn’t even matter anymore.
This is me saying goodbies to all the memories that we made, our talks that lasted midnights and laughters that kept us sane. I am letting it all go, drowning in the same waves that used to calm down my thunders and that heartbeats which felt like home.
This one’s for the love that we couldn’t hold, feelings that grew faint and songs that got unplayed with times. This is me admitting that you were torment to my heart and my love was toxic to your soul, and losing you, losing us isn’t so poetic as it sounds because your absence hurts so deep.
This is me knowing that we will eventually start to learn new songs, new poetry, new stories, we will be part of new photographs.
This is me admitting that we will be missing out so much details from each others lives; my next favourite movies, your birthdays, your new-found hobbies, my following embarrassing moments, your another drunk incidents. I will have no idea what your next tattoo would mean or the current book I will be reading or the reasons why you started hating mondays so much.
I might gradually forget the lines traced in your face, you might forget my birth marks printed on my skin. You will never know why he makes me feel so complete, I will never be aware of how she scares your bad dreams away.
This is how we are letting each other go, each day, our names no longer being scribbled together and we letting ourselves dwell in different cassettes, humming different tunes.
This is me letting you go from your touch, to the comfort I found in your words.This is me sighing in despair that we are ending up in chaos, and learning that we both are a mess right now and we both knowing that we need to rift apart instead of destroying what’s already ruined.
This is me realizing that people that goes aren’t the same ones that comes back and this is me finally accepting that when we said forever it only meant to point where we are standing right now in crossfire all scattered and un-sheltered.
This is me letting you go, this is me knowing that our paths will never cross again, and I am trying to forget the lyrics of our songs that we used to play on repeat. This is me letting you know that years from now we might not even remember the verses that we both knew by hearts, our cassette piled up somewhere in back of our drawers untouched from very long long time, and yellow stains making playgrounds on them. But this is me knowing that when our song will play in radio out of blue, we both will know, we both will know. And this is me admitting that our song would still be my favorite even when I might have forgotten the lyrics long time ago.
But for now, I am letting you go.
I am letting you leave.
Yours and only yours.
लेखक : Santosh Lamichhane
मिती : November, 2018
लेखक : एन. पी. खतिवडा
मिती : 2016
लेखक : Laxmi Prasad Devkota
मिती : Evergreen
लेखक : Santosh Lamichhane
मिती : September, 2015