I wake up in my room. Still confused and trying to figure out what is going on. I sit back with my head still hurting while I realize I was home. I could not even imagine how my mom would have reacted when she got me home. Was I still passed out then? How long have I been sleeping? Don’t I have school today? OH GOD! Everything seems so chaotic, and my mind is stuck on one thing; facing mom, how she might have reacted when she got a call from the school, and what might have happened when she took me home. I start panicking.
has always been the hardest person to please or make proud. She always seems unhappy with everything I do. When I tried my best in my exams to score well, to make her proud most of the time, she scolded me for the marks I could not get, and other times she didn’t care about it. For once, I had no friends and was crying over she told me it was me who was arrogant and she said I deserved it. She always wants things to be her way. For every time she had a bad day, she would find me or my bother to yell at. When everything is going upside down, she makes it even worse. I understand she does it for my good, is my mom, and who else would she yell at right? But sometimes it’s not how it works. When I achieve something, I don’t always want someone to pull out my flaws, which may help for the betterment, but it doesn’t make me want to do it more.
breath in intense air, and it stresses me out. (The coffee machine making its noise and the smells of morning breakfast with mom looking stressed and mad.) I try being polite to wish her a good morning while she starts yelling at me over and over again about how the phone call from school disturbed her working hours. It was a good morning, which never really is good. I have got used to it now this is my every morning like a ritual. There’s not a day I have to go through without being yelled at. I can think of nothing, and so I run back to my room, slamming the door and getting into where I began.
I want to escape from this place, a place that looks like home but can’t feel like it. I am stuck in a place where when one problem finishes, the other starts. What would you expect a teenage girl to do in this situation? I have no idea about how I got in bed that night, and the moment I open my eyes, I find my mom yelling at me before the day begins. I tried hard to keep myself up, but like always I burst out into tears; hungry and helpless. Living in a home that never feels like one makes it even harder, or does it make me senseless to emotions I should have felt.
Today I am taking a day off!!…, I can’t handle the drama at school. Sometimes I get out of my home with my uniform on but never reach school, this is my way of coping with emotional and mental weight.
लेखक : Santosh Lamichhane
मिती : November, 2018
लेखक : एन. पी. खतिवडा
मिती : 2016
लेखक : Laxmi Prasad Devkota
मिती : Evergreen
लेखक : Santosh Lamichhane
मिती : September, 2015